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boyfriend
November 2009 
What have you lost in your life?
Posted on Jun 29th, 2009
by 
Mitsu
Mitsu
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for June 29, 2009:
I've recently lost my partner of 5 years. Not "lost" as in dead, but I have decided to move to a larger city and taht means we can't be together. I think i want to explore and play the field more too, but this just leaves such a huge hole in me. He is such a great guy, and he makes me very very happy, and we have and continue to share such happy memories...but I can't stay here in this small town for the rest of my 20's... I can't only have one relationship in my 20's... I need to LIVE and explore people & things while I'm young.
Still.... I've lost him and I fear that I'll never get him back someday...
Still.... I've lost him and I fear that I'll never get him back someday...
Access: Public
If you actually feel the need to play the field, that means that you aren't as attached to your partner as you might think you are.
However–if you have the notion that you “should” play the field, but your heart's not really in it–it could be that you've already found your soulmate! This can even happen to you in your teens, and a lot of people find “the one” then they're in their twenties.
When my folks got married, they were 24 and 29, and their honeymoon never ended. My dad passed away just a few days before what would have been their 57th anniversary.
Want to know something strange?
His death was due to sudden cardiac death (similar to what happened to Michael Jackson).
He was 86 years old (like Ed McMahon).
He passed away early in the morning of February 2, 2004–which was Farrah Fawcett's 57th birthday.
What would I advise you to do?
I believe I would advise you to examine yet another possibility of what you're going through:
You and your partner are very close, but you're still wondering if he's the person with whom you'd like to spend the rest of your life–the face you'd like to see greeting you each morning and the last face you'd like to see before closing your eyes in sleep at night.
Perhaps, part of the reason you're together is more due to the situation being comfortable and familiar.
If he likes the small town, and you like the big city, this wouldn't mean that you'd have to end your relationship. You would just both live where you want to live but would still be bonded as a couple and would find ways to spend time together–even if a lot of it is only over the phone, online, and snail-mail with contact visits scheduled whenever it's possible.
But you also bring in the desire to want to date around, so that shows me that you really aren't ready to make a permanent commitment–and, as I said before, your hesitancy could be a fear of the unknown as opposed to the familiar.
I think you both need to spend some time apart. If your relationship is meant to last, this separation will end up making it stronger for both of you.